Making Lemonade

Today was terrible. One of the worst of the worst. I haven't been sleeping well. My nights have been filled with terrible dreams of love, work, and child raising--- all falling apart-- again. I'm not sure what triggers my sleep problems (well, late night sugar doesn't help... and hormones don't help... okay, I guess I do know), but whether I know or don't know: my complicated relationship with sleep is back. I went to bed last night, excited for today... but today: nothing went as planned. I woke up to rain. Fine, it's rain, not a big deal. Rain happens, it's nothing to cry about. But how I was going to make it to two banks and city hall with a toddler, in the rain, was beyond me. (#firstworldproblems, right?) But I NEEDED to pay my bills. I knew I needed to. Five days past payment on rent (not a huge deal, I've got a great landlord, she knows the payment will come in-- this was my first day free this week) and a little overdue on utilities--- maybe, I never received a notice. I started gathering things together-- I was going to get Marlowe in that stroller and make quick walk east when there was a break in the clouds. I pick her up, I bring her in her room to change her: the power goes out. I hear someone outside. WHY. My bill stated the payment was due the 19th (of April). WHY. I go to the window and I see the man who shut off my power, getting in his truck, and pulling away. And I'm stuck, in the 90 degree, raining weather, with no AC and no power for fans.... and I'm confused and upset. Why the man who turns a switch to turn off all the power in my house couldn't wait for tomorrow, couldn't wait an hour until I made it to the office, is beyond me. We finally make it out of the house, neither one of us is happy. Marlowe vocally whines the whole time, I whine in my head, but I'm certain you can see it in my face. She whines more. She screams. I give up. I give her a lollipop from the bank--- ANYTHING to give me a slight second of a break today. The lollipop is not another person or a helping hand. The lollipop is hardly a minute distraction. And I don't feel completely guilty. We make it home. I prepare lunch. She screams the entire time. She seems hungry. I place her in the highchair and she is disappointed and unhappy. Whines. Points to nothing. Whines more. I beg, I plead. Finally, she gives up on her pointless whining and reaches for food. She begins to eat. I stand up in relief, wash my hands, walk back to the couch, and she is asleep: covered in food, in her chair. I lay her, dirty, covered in food, on my bed. I get some work done and I clean my messy home. She wakes up, in a better mood. For a short while, the clouds move, and the sun shines in... and I make lemonade. The rest of the day continues with more fits, more tantrums, and refusing to eat anything of value, and the day, once again, continues to fall apart. 

Currently: I'm happy to be in bed, with my child asleep in her cozy, tiny bedroom. I'm happy we both survived our moodiness today. I'm not pleased that my emotions have gotten the best of me a few times this week, but I'm proud for making it through another trying day, alone. I look forward to a fresh start tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day. Tomorrow: I drink my lemonade. 

2 parts lemon

1 part sweetener

6 parts water

(sounds accurate enough)

Happy Weekend everyone! Happy Easter, if you celebrate it. It seems the earth and the planets are moving in all kinds of weird directions, changing and adjusting our moods and cycles. I know very little about this. I failed (well, I got a C) on every exam relating to the pull of the moon and tides in my college oceanography course (hardest class I've taken to date). With Mercury in retrograde (whatever that means), we're not "supposed to" make big decisions, take on new projects, or deal with finances, but instead, deal with already looked at and older projects. Whatever is going on with moodiness and pulls, it's supposed to end soon. Again, happy weekend. Make some lemonade. 

Birds And Woofs

This past weekend we ventured out west to Lion Country Safari. A late birthday treat for me, but really (and more importantly) a big, huge exciting adventure for Marlowe.  I'll let the photos speak for themselves on this one... but I will say: I'm happy all of Marlowe's dreams came true... you know, being able to be surrounded by a million (big exaggeration) birds and what not. 

**Most of these photos were taken by my brother. You can see even more photos HERE, on his flickr.

**yes, all the cool moms do wear safari hats out in public. 

**yes, Marlowe was not properly in a car seat for half the drive-through experience... which I'm totally okay with, since the speed limit is, you know, 5 miles per hour. We flipped the carseat to forward facing so she could get a better view, but she still couldn't see much of the really good stuff. So out she came, onto our laps, because the bigger issue are the rhinos crossing in front of your car, and not other vehicles. 


We were going to have a little beach day today, but it's pretty soggy out there. Marlowe's first beach day is probably tied in adorableness with Lion Country Safari (in my opinion, anyway). You can see photos: HERE and judge for yourself, but her little face is just too much.

Birthday Weekend

Well, the past few days have been a complete success. I really had a wonderful birthday. Really really. It started off thursday night with a lady date. Dinner, then drinks, then dancing. Lots and lots of dancing. Without a babysitter, I was unable to work Friday. I had mixed emotions about this. One: I was pissed. Two: I was happy to be able to relax in the morning, after going out the previous night. Friday was a planned zoo day... but didn't really work out. Both of the other mamas bailed for different reasons, a proclaimed: "hangover day". I woke up with a sore throat and stuffed nostrils from the bar.... oh how my body hates the smoke (please change your laws, florida), but other than that I felt pretty good and very happy :) Marlowe and I made up for the postponed zoo day by taking a long, long walk around town. Instead of the stroller, we held hands and took the long way around the neighborhood. Afterwards, we came back and had lunch... and after that? Marlowe's gift to me: a three and a half hour nap! Glorious! Friday evening I made pizza dough for the first time ever. I was very impressed by how well it turned out. I was expected a big red fail mark on the pizza, but no, it was mighty delicious. Saturday became the new zoo day with one of our bailing mama friends :) It was Marlowe's third time... and favorite time. Jaw dropped and pointing every step of the way. Woofed at the deer and chased the birds. Afterwards: nap for the kiddos and relax time for mama. Perfect weather, lots of sunshine, iced coffee, and lunch, all while the babies napped. What else could two mamas want? Saturday night I had a planned babysitter with the grandparents. Exhausted beyond belief, I debated on staying home... I thought, at the very most, I wouldn't make it past ten. Instead? Sushi, followed by band watching, then heading downtown to one of my favorite spots, then dancing, lots and lots of dancing.. dancing until the lights slowly brightened and the music softened. Then? A 5 am diner meal. Wow, what a good way to into a new year! Sunday was my actual birthday. I spent the day organizing the house, cleaning the porch, eating biscuits and gravy, laying on the couch, and ended the evening coloring with Marlowe. The best birthday (week) I've ever had. Usually (almost always) hating my birthday, I would have been content sitting at home, forgetting this day of the year even exists, but no, everything seemed to easily fall into place, just as it should have. It was perfect and more than I ever expected.... the first birthday (week) I've ever really loved and enjoyed.

>> THURSDAY <<

a concerned look while three way chatting, during nap time, in order to figure out fancy, but rain and wind friendly outfits // a pained food face // mezze platter // secret spot with four beautiful ladies. //  a blurry cheezin' too hard // dancing dancing.

>> FRIDAY <<

mom life // the most beautiful baby in her most glorious nap // p-i-z-z-a. gimmie pizza.

>> SATURDAY<<

emily and lily // coordinating is for the birds... or is it? // deer/woof-woof watching // she didn't want to be a bird // but couldn't stop looking for birds

pointing // pointing // pointing // pointing

The face, it never stopped // &another gift from Marlowe: learning how to climb into her seat. Makes two-door car life with a toddler much easier.

*knowing* I'll be home at 1030... refusing to get dressed, but putting on red lipstick to make my un-washed bun in hair and canadian tuxedo look a tad bit nicer.  Oops // Sushi dinner // Empty 5 am diner life.  

>>SUNDAY<<

messiest and milkiest biscuits and gravy // the end to a good week.  

Thank you so so so so much for all your birthday wishes! Between here, twitter, and instagam, (and non internet life too of course), my day was FILLED with so much birthday love. Thank you guys for making my day even more special :)