an explanation of sorts

Hello everyone. I thought I'd write a little post of explanation as to why my posts have been so sporadic lately. Basically, last month I was offered a job after three whole months of searching. 3 months. I know that there are many other bloggers that have struggled/are struggling to find employment and therefore would've killed for the opportunity to work after that amount of time. Therefore, I took the job by both hands despite the fact that it was a post that I wouldn't have initially opted for. The inductions and the first few shifts were great; I was really settling in and could see myself being very happy there. However, things all started to turn sour pretty quickly after that. I was experiencing what I now realise is actually bullying. At this age, I was the subject of bullying. It all just started with some petty put downs if I'd made mistakes. I was fine with this - it was bound to anger colleagues if I'd messed up. However, this escalated into a number of things. I was to blame for wrong deliveries. I was to blame if others had to use the till (despite that being their job). I was to blame if there was a queue. I was shouted at if I didn't ask for help. I was approached with anger when I asked for help. I was told I had to 'majorly improve' before Easter despite the fact I was running the place on my own and I hadn't received any proper till training. I told myself that this was all part of the job...that the national minumum wage was worth accepting the bad points. After a particular awful shift which resulted in me walking home in tears I realised something...no amount of money is worth feeling so low. Thankfully, my family understood. My mamabear didn't want her little cub near someone that treated her like dirt and my stepdad wanted to go down and beat the shit into the person that was subjecting me to such treatment.

I'm now unemployed again and to be honest, I'm not feeling very good about myself whatsoever. However, I would urge anyone who feels they are the subject of bullying/abusive behaviour to speak out - whether it's at work or elsewhere. No money and no reputation is worth feeling less of a person. I'm now flitting through a billion quick money making ideas in my head that will get me nowhere but I'm doing it with a smile on my face and a hell of a lot more confidence! I'll be back later with my usual Monday 'H is for Happy' post. Until then....